A will is an acknowledgment of mortality—a physical reminder that we are after all mortals. A will is often regarded as a remembrance of death, therefore, coming to terms with the fact that we will die and must depart to another realm of the unknown is one of the most difficult things most people would want to contemplate. I am therefore in agreement with recent research, which indicated that eight out of 10 Nigerians over the age of 45 don’t have a will and that seven out of 10 will sadly not make one before they pass. The subject is, therefore, not only very difficult to discuss but also difficult to accept. I have, while making presentations on this topic, come to realize that a sizeable number of my audience do not bother writing a will because of the myths and misconceptions surrounding it.
The average Nigerian, and most surprisingly some highly educated adults, are put off by the idea of writing a will due to certain cultural myths, misconceptions, and fears. The first reaction when a will is discussed or mentioned is: “It is not my portion,” leaving one to wonder whose portion is it.
In this discourse, I will attempt to identify some of the key reasons people abhor writing wills (or putting in place any form of trust) to safeguard their family members when they die.
As a remembrance of death. Once the idea of writing a will is conceived or when one is encouraged to write his will, there is the psychological fear that one is most likely about to die. I remember inviting two of my friends who coincidentally are both lawyers to witness my will. I was shocked when the most senior amongst the two asked “Lawyer (referring to me), are you sure you are ok.” For him, I was too young to write a will except something was wrong with me or that I had a terminal illness that was going to lead to my death, or simply that I had a premonition of death.
There is the presumption in some African cultures that young people do not die except such death is caused by unnatural forces. For them, only elders are assumed to have finished their assignments on earth and can be perceived as due to go home to their ancestors; anything to the contrary is the handiwork of the enemy. This explains why it is often very painful when an aged father buries his son, the reverse should always be the case. There are tribes in Nigeria who believe very strongly that every death is caused by someone or something unnatural. To them, people do not die of natural causes. Something unnatural or diabolical must have killed the dead. In fact, oftentimes, the deceased remains will not be buried until someone owns up to being responsible for the death. Therefore, the assurance that if I do not offend my enemies, I would live very long, tends to give us the false assurance of insulation from death except at a very ripe age. People with this mindset believe they will live long to see their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, so the contemplation of death, particularly an earlier departure, is
suppressed. The religious, cultural, and socio-psychological biases fit into this narrative and make the writing of will unimportant. Such people often forget that having a will means making proper plans for the division of their estate after death.